Rejection and Neglect have been big teachers for me. I give them these capitalized names with intent and purpose. It has been helpful for me to personify experiences to fully welcome and understand them.
The Guest House, by Rumi was a great teacher for me also. And I am gently reminded of it in those times when I wish to project my own emotions onto another, or wish away a painful feeling. The poem became a way of life for me. It is my own Tao. I have come to rely on it as The Way. It has served me well.
The Guest House
This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness
Some momentary awareness comes
As an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows
Who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
Still treat each guest honorably,
He may be clearing you out
For some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
Meet them at the door laughing,
And invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes
Because each has been sent
As a guide from beyond.
Rejection and Neglect, Anger and Shame, they’ve all been frequent guests in my house. As much as I slammed the door in fear or cringed while inviting them in or opened the door out of begrudging obligation, I learned deeply from each of them every time I let them in. After a time I learned to smile when I heard them knocking. Then I began to sense their approach and open the door to wave them in. Then I started to laugh,...a hearty laugh at myself for my years and lifetimes of wasted energy slamming and bolting the door to hope I could avoid them.
So since we’ve become friends and I refer to them as Gurus now, Rejection asked me to write a thing or two from his perspective.
Rejection: “So here’s the thing, however I have shown up,.....from your co-worker or your husband or your partner or your girlfriend, or your father, however I have shown up, it’s really not about the details. I have to arise through some details in your life cause otherwise you wouldn’t take the time to find me and learn from me!
So, in whatever details I have shown up, ignore those for a moment and consider just this, I have lived in you for a very, very long time. I have lived in you since before you can remember. I live in every being with a human ego on this planet right now. I live in each of you because you asked me to! You wanted to fully experience what it is to be human. From the expulsion from Oneness to the return to your Creator, you wanted to experience the losses, the loves and every moment of the journey. You wanted to remember! You wanted to remember the grand design and remember your choice in it. You wanted to remember our universality and image and likeness of God. You wanted to give it a go on this particular planet with its particular playing field, gravity and collective. You arm-wrestled your way into having a chance to play down here and you won!
As Rejection, I have no reality. I am an ethereal entity comprised of thoughts and experiences of the collective. I am not REAL. Detach yourself from me and know this as Truth. I can be experienced, yes, I can be believed in and felt, yes. I am moving energy. Once you decide that the energy doesn’t have to be named Rejection and you’d like to name it Fuel instead for instance, then I become Fuel. You just made me into something else. You could also call me Teacher, like Alexandra does. Please try this. I’ll work with you.
And btw, I’m good friends with Anger and Shame and Neglect and I know this works with them too.
Understand that it may take a bit to decide on the name for each of us that really works for you, be patient, it will come. Once you do have a name, refer to me as that and simply take time to chat with me please. I don’t need to be draining or take up your whole day, I usually just like to pop in for tea and share what’s up and then I’ll be on my way.
Once you get used to me we can be friends, maybe lovers, then eventually we simply merge and I cease to exist. Word of warning, your house will expand when I add my energy to yours and you’ll have even more zest, juice, vigor or ‘joie de vivre’ as they say. After each time we visit, I will head out when you tell me to, or when I know you have understood. If you force me out and did not yet understand my purpose in visiting, then please know I will return again and again. The return visits happen because there are times when you can only stand a small dose of me. There are other times when you absorb a big teaching and that is all there is to understand for the moment. There are also times when you ignore me or distract yourself and refuse to connect with the learning that your body holds. For all of these reasons, I have to come back until you understand me and my purpose. Once you have really seen me as the friend that I want to be for you, then we can talk about getting more intimate.
But let’s just start with tea.