Depression and your radiant heart

January 4, 2018

 Statistics say there are millions of people who are depressed and anxious.

 

When I first studied psychology twenty years ago, I felt quite separate from ‘those people’ who were depressed or anxious.  In some ways the habit to separate oneself is helpful and at the time, it was.  I was never willing to put a label on myself and that gave me resilience.  As I studied ‘conditions’ in the DSM, I was against labels and hesitant to use them.  Though I still am, I have also seen that specific terms for experiences can be helpful temporarily, they can validate and serve to help one feel acknowledged and seen.  

 

Throughout my psychology degrees, I began to see my own anxiety and depressive tendencies show up.  I wondered if I needed to be categorized.  When I didn’t want to get out of bed, did I need medication?   If I didn’t want to see my friends or go out of the house, did I need medication?  If I felt anxious talking to my work supervisor or going to a party, did I fit the criteria for anxiety?  

 

I laugh about this now.  Thankfully I never did get onto medication or slot myself into those categories, I learned to use food and substances sometimes to keep feelings at bay temporarily though.  Like most people, I certainly did feel depressed and anxious at times and didn’t have the skills early on to face those feelings directly.  

 

After various jobs as a counsellor and working as a spiritual guide and healer now, I have observed depression as a result of a societal structure and medical system that negates human beings wisdom, creativity and potential.  (not negating amazing individual doctors)  From within a hierarchical system that positioned itself in opposition to the mystery and miracle of creation, how could one come to understand oneself?  How could one come to understand something like depression?  

 

What I observed consistently across age, culture, socio-economic circumstances and gender, is that depression occurs within those who feel unseen and unrecognized.  Those who were ignored and unheard (to varying degrees) in early life will usually struggle with some form of depression or throw themselves into caretaking others.  If physical or sexual trauma were also present, the challenges can feel insurmountable at times.  

 

Whatever the past details, and whether you feel occasionally depressed or heavy-hearted or consistently feel it, his is not a prescription and there may be many things you need on your healing path.  What I want you to know for today is just this;

 

You being here really matters.  

Who are you really matters.  

 

The gifts you hold inside, when you let them out, they really make a difference.  Angels sing when they see you sharing who you are.  In whatever way you like to be creative and share your heart, keep doing it.  There are those right now, unseen and unknown, that truly celebrate you being yourself.  

 

Even if it seems as though no one sees you at times or no one knows who you really are inside or there is no one to share yourself with, please know that there are people close by who would care and would want to listen.  There are those who do want to know you.  There are those that want to learn about you or learn from you or love you.  Keep sharing of yourself.  Keep learning who you are.  Ask for help.  Pray.  Get quiet to listen inside.  Keep investigating your own mystery and strength and inner passion.  Then share it.  Tell someone.  Write, speak, draw, paint, make music, dance, create, love.  Share something of yourself in your own precious way.  

 

We need you.

 

And another thing,.....I know you get thrown off sometimes by the great pain on the planet.  I know your huge heart wants to fix it, love everyone or make it all better somehow.  

 

Thank you.  

 

Thank you for how much you love.

Thank you for your precious, loving heart.  

 

Your heart moved by pain, your heart feeling how much it wants change, your heart drawing inward sometimes and feeling contracted and painful is the way it is talking to you.  The intelligence of your heart, far beyond that of the brain, is revealing itself to you.  

 

Breathe into it.  

Talk to it.

Make friends with it.  

Thank it for sharing.  

Thank it for teaching you how much you care and how much you are connected to all things.  

 

You, and every human heart that wants more love for the world and each other, we’re all in this together.  And we are loved.

 

You are appreciated,

 

Alexandra

 

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