I notice that sometimes people watch my videos or read my posts and think that "I'm not ok", or "I'm not doing well." If that's sometimes you, rest assured that feelings move through me in minutes or hours, depending on the intensity. When there is time to ride the full cycle of a process to completion, like I had yesterday, then the feelings and thoughts are really gone. By completion I don't mean they are set aside or stuffed back down, they are just done.
Like many of you though, I don't always have the time for that and stress accumulates. However, given that I've been in healing for a few decades, it is a priority to me and ever more so since cancer. Yesterday's frustration and writing was the birthing process for today's ease and creativity. Deep rest and time freedom for a few days helps create the ease. The beauty of outdoors and sun and fresh air right now expands my gratitude. I am riding the circle of life and it is good.
It has been such a balance recognizing that it is important not to think too much about the cancer cells in my body or focus on them yet also recognizing I need to be realistic and attend to this diagnosis. This is a task I am called to hundreds of times per day in any given moment. What food to eat, what action to take, what healing modality is required now? what to focus on? This moment to moment attention game and choice making is what I have been getting tired of.
Today I am not tired, today I wonder what is the next step in my huge vision in how I can serve? Staying focused on the nearest future, I look forward to offering the next readings and healings, writing a new bio and further down the line, a new website. I look forward to one day being part of a team with others who are aligned with my work. I look forward to hearing the results that my body is free and clean.
In the midst of all this, I have been repeatedly wanting to acknowledge the fullness of my heart when I think of so many of you in my life. Old high school friends, housemates, family, all the healers and counsellors and facilitators I know, all the students I have taught. The people I know are so cool and interesting! You are the ones that inspire my life. It is the feeling I get when I think of connecting with
you, past or present, that fuels my heart and movement forward. Again today, I am reminded that I am such a simple person in that I am driven by love and beauty. When I think of you, I think of the love in each of your hearts, the beauty of smiles and comments and conversations and gifts. As I look up, my
heart is full with the beauty of the leaves and sky and birds and animals. As long as I get the big doses of this love and beauty in my daily life, all is well. Abundance is overflowing.
May you feel the sweetness of love in your heart today,
May you walk with beauty today,
With love from me to you,