I met a man Friday night that I could be in love with.
It was such a delicious feeling,... the first time in years where I felt more than attraction. I felt I could sink into him the way you can sink into your favorite comfortable couch. I felt ease equal to desire. So much so that I just wanted to laugh and smile. Bringing that memory to mind makes me want to laugh right now.
I don't know if I'll ever see this man again. If I don't I will feel a loss. Yet what I have received gives me something I have been seeking for many years. I felt the vastness of my heart again. I felt the future. I felt this faith that I get to have the amazing relationship that I have conceived of. I felt faith in myself. I am ready to give and receive love wildly and passionately and openly. Seeing this childlike joy in myself again was a huge relief. For this I am immensely grateful. For this I would like to thank him.
Something is different in me now. Aloneness and loneliness is over. Struggle is over. Joy is here. And change is around the corner.
In the deep of these dark times of autumn, inside me it feels like spring.
Bless you mystery man.